Archive for February, 2018

Ashley Merryman’s chat with Jeremy Boone on his Coach Your Best podcast back in 2014 was especially insightful to me when I first heard it because I was coaching women at the time. What she found in the research on coaching men vs women and other issues is well worth listening to. My favourite points occur at the time spots noted below…

Ashley Merryman 1 – Coach Your Best Podcast

7:35 Playing to win versus playing ‘not to lose’. Focused on doing the things needed to be successful versus doing things to avoid failure. Ambition versus conservatism.

12:00 – 18:50 Challenge State versus Threat State. Something you think you can be successful at compared to something you’re doubtful of. Both have physiological manifestations… blood vessels expand, blood pressure low oxygen travels better, stored glucose burned better in Challenge State. Blood vessels shrink, glucose in blood stream burned, lungs tighten in Threat State. Cortisol is produced under stress and peaks about 20 minutes after the event. Difficult to recover from, and need to be mindful how one might be able to calm self out of the stressful event. Might be possible to frame a potential stressor better from the onset, taking on the challenge rather than fall into a threat state.

Ashley Merryman 2 – Coach Your Best Podcast

3:35 – 5:10 Positive Thinking. An absolute positive outlook can prevent someone from dealing with problems when they arise. Must be able to think of possible roadblocks and strategies to overcome them. This is a key element in personal and team goal setting.

14:18 – 17:54 Testosterone = aggression is not true. Hormone of motivation, social status. Depends on the value(s) needed for the situation. Could be aggression if that’s what’s called for, but could also be cooperative if that’s the ideal demand. Firefighters and Paramedics both would show high testosterone for rushing into a burning building and calmly dealing with injured people.

20:25 – 24:38 Testosterone boosts prior to challenge / competition can help preparedness, realising and preparing for the Challenge State. Ties into clarity, purpose, focus. Social status seems to reduce – not wanting to defeat friends, for example.

Ashley Merryman 3 – Coach Your Best Podcast

2:25 – 4:28 Generic praise can lead to under-achieving (Carol Dweck’s research). Works until kids experience failure, basing their ability on ‘innate skill’. ‘Other people need to practice, not me.’ Realisation of truth can be really hurtful. ‘So I’m NOT that good???’

9:20 – 12:30 Kids are good at understanding false praise. Best to encourage – not the same as praise – and ask how we can help. Danger of false praise is that genuine critical feedback can be ignored as much as the well-meant lie. Also not an invitation to be hurtful and unnecessarily critical.

14:45 – 18:20 Trophies are a part of empty / false praise. Novices should not be given trophies. Every contest is a competition to the participants and they do not need a physical representative of it in the form of a trophy / medals / etc. for the win. Performance / achievement related to the challenge is more important.

22:10 – 22:37 Elite athletes care more about getting better. Specific feedback is desired, and might want criticism more because they already know what they are good at and want information that will help them get better.

24:48 – 26:16 No need to praise someone who’s in the zone. Can even throw them off with focus being diverted to the person delivering praise.

28:12 – 28:50 Give athletes the ability to decide themselves what’s important before the season begins.

Ashley Merryman 4 – Coach Your Best Podcast

4:21 Gender differences less important than individual capabilities relative to their competitors.

5:10 – 8:00 Possible that women are more likely to calculate odds of success and compete when they feel they have a good chance at winning. Men more likely to take risks without considering the odds so carefully. Women more likely to be under-confident; men over-confident.

8:30 – 14:10 Boys function in groups, comfortable with diversity. Girls in pairs and look for commonality. Might need to encourage to interact with more than just ‘best friend’.

14:10 – 17:25 Girls worry about sticking out from the group, even if it’s being better than their peers. Girls can develop a performance standard that includes everyone in the group. Coaches must be aware of this possibility and encourage them to push beyond for their own sake and the sake of the team (everyone else will do this as well).

19:12 On average, women less willing to join a team. Fear bringing the team down.

21:15 – 25:50 The more elite the athlete, less worried about sticking out. More than males, interested in feedback relationship with coach. “What do you think?” more powerful than critique because women are self-aware and probably their own worst critic. Might need to reel in things that are unnecessarily harsh! Coach must make sure women know they are valued as people.

27:15 – 31:04 Self esteem tied to social status with girls. Remember that no one wants to be lower than the group, especially in a public environment. Important to value that individual and help them through solutions that can raise ability in a 1 on 1. Also has negative effect on others; care about that individual, fear they will be next (Threat State!)


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